A Better Version of Myself
By Carin Andersen, founder of Aortic Hope
Jan. 29, 2015, was the day Carin 2.0 was born. Before that date, I was a 45-year-old married woman with a 15-year-old son who had no clue her life was about to change completely.
It was a late Thursday afternoon. I had just come home from work and was watching TV with my dog. Out of nowhere, I felt a slightly painful pop in the right side of my neck. The pain migrated to the center of my chest. It felt like indigestion. I knew these sensations all too well as I had been living with Crohn’s disease for over half of my life. My immediate thought was that I shouldn’t have eaten that sandwich for lunch!
After walking around for a bit, I sat down and completely lost the feeling in my legs and arms —everything just went limp. I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea how bad it was going to get. I called 911.
Once I arrived at the local medical center, blood was drawn, and an electrocardiogram (EKG) and a chest X-ray were performed. Computed tomography angiography (CTA) was ordered. All tests were negative, and my blood pressure was relatively normal. I wasn’t in terrible pain, just feeling discomfort. However, at this point, fluid buildup in my lungs and neurological deficits began.
The CTA results showed I had experienced an aortic dissection. I remembered the actor John Ritter didn’t survive an aortic dissection. I asked the doctor if I was going to die, and he looked down. That was a horrible moment.
I was transported to a shock trauma unit, where the surgery team was ready and waiting. I was given a few minutes to say goodbye to my family. Telling my son that I was probably going to die was the hardest moment of my life. I did what any parent would do: I told him he was wonderful and would do amazing things with his life. I told him to respect women, always do the right thing and be kind to others. I told him he had tons of videos to remind him of me. It was agonizing. I accepted so quickly that I was going to die but was so angry about it.
About five hours later, my new life began. I survived a Type A and B dissection. My arch was replaced with a Dacron graft and my aortic valve was spared. I was still dissected down into my left iliac. After five days, I was discharged and returned home. After completing cardiac rehabilitation, I realized my life would never be the same. I would have to leave the career in human resources I loved and accept disability.
Then I had to decide what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I kept thinking about how, if I had met someone like me early in my recovery — someone who had lived through an aortic dissection — I believe it would have helped. That’s when the concept for Aortic Hope was born. I founded a 501(c)3 organization that spreads hope, creates awareness and provides support to, survivors and caregivers of aortic disease (dissections and aneurysms).
Living with a dissection is different for everyone. Some days are great. Other days are OK. A few days are not so great. I can feel anxious and have flashbacks. I am exhausted. My blood pressure can be elevated, and on those days, I can’t contribute anything at all.
Almost dying takes an emotional toll on you and everyone around you. However, it does do one thing that is amazing: it changes your perspective. If today is a bad day, it’s just that — a bad day. Tomorrow might very well be an amazing day. I am no longer a glass-half-full or half-empty person. I now just refill that glass.
It has been some years since my event, and the emotion, fear, and pain have diminished. Surviving is like climbing a mountain: you look up and realize you have a long way to go, but when you look behind you, you feel proud of how far you have come. While I can’t do some things the way that I did before my dissection, I am able to do so many other things now that I didn’t before. I accept that I am not the same person, but a much better version of myself.
Learn more about Aortic Hope
For more information on this health topic, visit heart.org.
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